Getting your heart broken sucks. The raw, empty, pain that covers your body and fills your gut is one of the worst things you can go through. If you haven't experienced this, it's hard to understand. If you HAVE gone through it, you need no further definition of heartache. You have had it radiate through your core.
I dated a guy for a short while when I was in my early twenties. It didn't end well. I honestly don't know how long I went without being taken by the thought of him. Everywhere I turned was a reminder. I couldn't eat, sleep, stay awake...I couldn't breathe. I didn't know how to go on.
Eventually, things started to turn around. Little by little, I began to move. I'll never forget the first day that I realized I spent more time NOT thinking about him, than being consumed. I began to heal and actually stopped just going through the motions. I smiled again.
A few years later, I met my husband. He was beyond anything I had ever hoped for. He was the perfect combination of love from the inside out. I had never known anyone like him and was happy just to be with him. He wasn't my "match," instead, he made me a better person as a whole. The day we were married was one of the happiest of my life.
So WHY did I have to get my heart broken? Why do people have to go though any of it? I spent several years wondering and have pulled it down to this. Appreciation. As odd as that seems, I know to appreciate and love my husband more than I would have, had I not gone through the pain. I appreciate his compassion and selflessness knowing what the opposite of that feels like. I appreciate all that he is because I experienced what he isn't.
There's also another element of a heartbreak that stays with you. It's a level of empathy. I will have compassion for our four children if heaven forbid, their hearts are broken too. If I had never felt that pain, how could I truly comprehend how they might be feeling as well? I never want them to hurt but if they do, I will be able to pull from that place as opposed to simply telling them, "I'm sure it will be just fine."
You might be wondering, why the deep blog entry for the day? As much as I have fun writing about the crazy things our kids go through, I am also moved by situations that loved ones in our lives are experiencing as well. I know that Robert Pattinson or any other person that the tv featured will probably never read this, but if one person out there is going through pain or hurt of any kind, know this...it WILL get better and YOU will be better in the end. As impossible as that may seem to be right now, love and time will show you the way.